It seems the Nigerian’s need some IT kit as well…

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I got this funny one in a “zombie” e-mail account I use.

Dear Friend,
I am Miss Jenifer Cole a computer scientist with the central bank of Nigeria (CBN) of Nigeria.
I am 26 years old, just started work with CBN came across your file which was marked X and your released disk painted RED, I took time to study it and found out that you have paid VIRTUALLY all fees and certificate but the fund has not been release to you. The most annoying thing is that they cannot tell you the truth that on no account will they ever release the fund to you, instead they let you spend money unnecessarily.

I do not intend to work here all the days of my life, I can release this fund to you if you can certify me of my security, and how I can run away from this Nigeria if I do this, because if I don’t run away from this country after i made the transfer, I will be seriously in trouble and my life will be in danger.
Please this is like a Mafia setting in Nigeria, you may not understand it
because you are not a Nigerian.
The only thing I will need to release this fund is a special HARD DISK we call it HD120 GIG. I will buy two of it, recopy your information, destroy the previous one, punch the computer to reflect in your bank within 24 banking hours. I will clean up the tracer and destroy your file, after which I will run away from Nigeria to meet with you. If you are interested.

SPECIAL INFORMATION:YOU WILL SEND THE FEE FOR THE HARD DISK FIRST BEFORE I MAKE YOUR TRANSFER OR YOU BUY THE HARD DISK IN YOUR COUNTRY AND SEND IT TO ME, DON’T CONTACT ME IF YOU CAN NOT SEND THE HARD DISK FEE FIRST OR THE HARD DISK. AS SOON AS I RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE DISK WILL COST YOU.

Do get in touch with me immediately,You should send to me your convenient tell/fax numbers for easy communications and also re confirm your banking details, so that there won’t be any mistake.
Regards,

Miss Jenifer Cole

I won’t even respond. I just don’t have the time.

Wow. The Nigerians have REALLY stepped up their game….

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I checked my PO Box this morning and there was the letter from my Nigerian scammer.

The letter was post marked from Royal Mail in London.

Inside was this shabby little unsigned note:

What blew me away? The check. It looked real. In fact, it has a watermark and everything. I think is a genuine check from HSBC bank, but maybe drawn on a dead account.

Here is the problem. I KNOW this check is a fake. But I am SURE that a lot of unsuspecting types would gladly cash this check and be swindled.

There is an HSBC bank down the road… I am going to give them everything I have and let them handle/pursue this guy.

Absolute Kelvin

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So, my Nigerian is quite determined to get his motorcycle.

Hello

You will receive the payment within a day or two
pls mail me and contact the shipper(fakeNameautoshipper@gmail.com) as soon as you receive the payment

thanks for your patience

To which I responded

Kelvin,

Greetings of the season!

Whereupon receipt of your fundages, I shall endeavor to contact you most interfrastically.

Whence all modalities and pro formas are observed, or obversed as it may be, I shall contact the shipper and arrange for acquisition of the motorcycle.

I am sure this motorcycle will provide you many years of riding pleasures on the African savannahs. It’s speed and agility will allow you outrun even the most determined lion or petulant rhinocerii.

sincerely,

“Maverick”

I sense a lot of modalities coming up. I’ll check the PO Box today or tomorrow for his fake check.

Selling a motorcycle isn’t fun…

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So I am trying to sell my bike, on both eBay and CraigsList.

Naturally, my Nigerian friends are right there, offering me wads of imaginary cash.

I EVEN put this disclaimer into the ADS to discourage this idiots, but they are immune to reason.

THIS WILL BE A FACE TO FACE CASH transaction!!
African scammers PLEASE move on to someone else, trust me, I will only mess with you and hang your fake ink-jet printed check on my wall and laugh at you.

So naturally, they ignore this. They hit the “Buy Now” on my eBay auction and send me this drivel.

Thanks for your response
I had dispute with a seller, and ebay suspended my account , i have lodged a complaint ebay is looking into the matter
,, am still interested in the bike
pls send your full name and address
I will issue out a US certified cashier check first thing tomorrow morning
I work for a ship contruction company,
so am currently working on sonar lace – researched boat, in UNITED KINGDOM,
you will received the payment within 4-6 working days
Note: the shipping fee is included, and information on how to contact the shipper is attached. to the check

pls mail me and contact he shipper as soon as you received the payment

I promptly wrote back:

Once I have the cheque in hand, I will notify you and we can discuss the modalities of transport.

Of course. It’s all about the modalities. I gave him my PO Box number. I’ll post up the check when I get it.

Some things you may not know about Steve Jobs…

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Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Computer, passed away yesterday at the age of 56.

He was 10 years older than I am and had a net worth of over 4 billion dollars, yet couldn’t buy the cure for Pancreatic Cancer.

You may not own a Gulfstream Jet like Steve did, but you are alive and reading this. Appreciate that.

But here are some things you might not know about Steve Jobs.

  • He owned an old BMW motorcycle, which he kept in his house.
  • Steve acquired Pixar for 10 million dollars from George Lucas (who was getting a divorce and had to spin off some assets). He didn’t even put up the 10 million, it was a “line of credit” from his bank. That 10 million dollars became 7% of Disney when Disney bought out Pixar. Nice.
  • When Steve pitched Apple to HP and Atari (his employer at the time) they said, “Get your feet off my desk, get out of here, you stink. We’re not going to buy your product.”
  • Steve Jobs was adopted. He biological father was a Syrian Muslim immigrant and his mother was graduate student of German ancestry. He never contacted his birth parents.
  • Steve founded Apple when he was 21.
  • He was a pescetarian (A vegetarian who eats fish).
  • His middle name was “Paul”.
Steve Jobs, you made a huge mark on this world.
Requiescat in pace.

Sprint is getting the iPhone 4 or 5. Whoop-dee-do

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Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a huge Apple nut.

I own a Mac. Use a Mac daily at work. I am lusting after an iPad 2, and will probably sell a kidney to get a iPad 3 / HD when it’s released.

I used to own an iPhone with AT&T and it cost me a RIDICULOUS $120 a month for service.

I switched to Sprint with an Android phone, and paid $40 a month for a while until I added a voice plan and now pay about $70 a month for unlimited data and text (I get an employee discount as a teacher). Minutes don’t matter to me, since I never really call anyone.

As a former iPhone user, now an Android user, would I go back to the iPhone? Nope.

I have a Motorola Photon (dual core, loaded with memory) running Android 2.3.4 and I love it. When I use the iPhone that the boys at work have, I really don’t like the UI as much. It’s hard to find things and I don’t feel that the platform is as robust as Android.

Google does a pretty good job with Android. I like the iPhone, but Android gets the job done quite nicely.

 

 

Superheroes of Customer Service!

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I love my motorcycle. But motorcycles require accessories, like saddlebags and helmet sheilds, etc…

Where to get that stuff? Glad you asked!

There are a bazillion places online to buy motorcycle schwag, but the thing that really separates them is the customer service. If you have a problem, is their response, “Screw you buddy!”??

MotorcycleGear.com is a customer service super hero in my book.

Here is my story:

I had bought the wickedly cool and incredibly useful Nelson-Rigg saddlebags. They are great and since I use my motorcycle 99.9% of the time, it’s great for picking up groceries, beer, flowers for my woman… most anything.

One day, the stitching came out from one of the saddlebags that holds it to the bike. I was devastated. The Nelson-Riggs bags have a “no-hassle” lifetime return policy.

I called up MotorcycleGear.com and told them my tale of woe. They were very cool and sent me a replacement IMMEDIATELY! They even gave me an RMA # and a shipping label so I could send the defective bags back.

 

Awesome! How cool is that!?

Moral of the story? You can get your motorcycle most anywhere, but if something goes wrong, it’s better to get your stuff from a place that treats their customers like people, like fellow motorcycle riders!.

 

Hurricane!

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It seems there is a Hurricane on it’s way to New York.

Saturday it will rain like crazy and Sunday the wind will blow.

Honestly, I am not too worried about it EXCEPT for the following:

  • I really do not want to lose power. (Post Hurricane: power blinked off ONCE, but only for 5 minutes)
  • I really do not want to lose broadband. (Post Hurricane: this hurt the most. Lost internet and TV service until Monday afternoon. Had to go to the office to get my Internet Data Fix)

 

The Heinrich Show is back on the air…

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If you are a regular reader of the Heinrich Show, you’d know that the site has been down since min-June. There was some weird error that I didn’t have the time to fix. Worse, it messed up my friend Pete’s site Colorado Law Compass as well, which I host.

Finally, when I looked at the page, I got a suspension notice that the site was down due to billing. Damn. When it rains, it pours.

What could I do? I’m broke as a joke. I’ve been moping around the house due to all kinds of misery that has been going on in my life lately and can barely think straight.

But then two things happened yesterday that changed the fate of the Heinrich Show.

Pete asked me again to fix the site and I honestly told him my situation. Pete and I have been friends for over 20 years. So this years season of the Heinrich Show is proudly sponsored by the Colorado Law Compass!

So with billing fixed, now I had to fix TWO WordPress sites.

I did mine first, since if I screwed anything up, it would only mess up my site… not Pete’s. I had to back up all the MySQL datebases and re-install WordPress. That’s easy enough, but then reconnecting the db’s was pain, but since I had the original wp-config.php files, it made it easier.

I am giving up on my old theme. Mandigo was a great theme, but I am kinda grooving on this theme.

In the end, after a lot of trial and error, I got them BOTH up and running. Embarrassingly, it took me about 5 hours…. although, I did bbq a nice steak during that period of time.

I haven’t fixed the Adsense stuff yet, and I am not sure if my Askimet is working, but I will fix that another day. For now, my work at Shangri-la keeps me busy.

Welcome back gentle reader. It’s going to be a wild ride!

Poker Trip, Part Deux

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The boys, Steve, John and I are heading to Atlantic City to play poker at the Borgata.

Sammy, is not coming this time, since he is now gainfully employed. Jaime “Babes, Bullets and Barbecue” Rios will be taking his place.

I’ll let you decide for yourself which guy I am….